Obama walks into the barnyard and says to the animals, "The farmer didn't build this farm, you did."
The cow smiled and went on munching hay. The sheep were sheepish. The dog wagged its tail. The pig knew it hadn't lifted a finger, but sensed there was something in it for him, so he said nothing, but nestled a little deeper in the mud.
Just outside the barnyard, a wise old owl said, "Who?"
"Yes, that's right. This farm is built on your sweat, on your bodies, on your contributions. If we just got rid of the farmer, in fact, and turned to collective action, this farm would work a lot better. There would be more chow for everyone. You could have some moonshine. And all the wild animals that are out there could come in from the cold and be domesticated. We first just have to declaw them, and then classify them, and finally, we will have permanent peace." Obama paused and lit up a cigarette and exhaled. "It'll be a breeze with me as your new master." The animals voted him in, and the farmer was taken to a reeducation camp and dealt with via Zyklon B as he was denounced as vermin, unfit to reproduce.
A fox was standing outside the barnyard and was skeptical. The fox said from outside the barnyard, "He's a national socialist. A wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm looking out for you."
The fox wanted the farm to remain intact because every once in a while he could carry off a chicken or a baby pig. If the farm collapsed, or was no longer run efficiently, he would have to work to find something to eat. As it was, he lived off the farmer's labor and pork belly futures.
Obama cited a lot of facts. How there were bridges and roads to nowhere that could be built. How they could take the money the farmer had deposited in the piggy bank for several generations, and pay themselves out of that. Obama said there were other benefits once they had gotten rid of the last of the farmers and make himself the presider (or president) over the economy. He said if one of the animals were hurt, they could have a vet come and fix them, and it would be absolutely free. It wouldn't cost a Roosevelt dime. Plus they could have perfect freedom!
"Also, I will develop new energy sources," said Obama.
The cow sensed that this was manure, but he liked mooching so said nothing. He was tired of being milked.
The little red hen was the one animal inside the barnyard that kept on planting and ploughing in earnest. But soon Obama got mad at the animal's industry (it was too much like independence) and chopped off her head and ate her for supper.
"I have a cousin over in Zimbabwe who also got rid of the farmers. His name is Robert Mugabe. Now there's a lot more for everyone in Zimbabwe," Obama crowed. "Collectivization is priceless."